My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
