One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
