the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
