make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
