I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
