Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
