So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I have demons in me.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
soo... how was my night?