Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.