My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?