Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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