he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Ladies don't puke and tell
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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