My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Who died my cat blue again?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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