sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
home. puking in laundry basket.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
