listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
