At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize