I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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