I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
