i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
