my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
