YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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