I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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