So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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