He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
