Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Damn victory sex feels great
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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