I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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