that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
