I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
