Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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