i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
