I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
this will be a night to untag.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.