the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant