He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.