so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.