I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.