I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years