He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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