He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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