Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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