Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
