Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune. http://tfl.nu/4goo
  Replies (9) Good night (1233) Bad night (2761)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.

  (951): View more from California

  That's the thing about women.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff. (951): That's the thing about women. http://tfl.nu/3r0z
  Replies (6) Good night (779) Bad night (2449)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream. http://tfl.nu/f7mo
  Replies (4) Good night (486) Bad night (2525)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen? http://tfl.nu/378f
  Replies (18) Good night (2186) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long. http://tfl.nu/t49w
  Replies (7) Good night (3666) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea. http://tfl.nu/9kka
  Replies (9) Good night (4954) Bad night (1151)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet." http://tfl.nu/s1m4
  Replies (52) Good night (16187) Bad night (1788)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father" http://tfl.nu/5bjg
  Replies (20) Good night (1219) Bad night (5651)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty

  (917): View more from New York City

  smooth operator

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty (917): smooth operator http://tfl.nu/2sej
  Replies (25) Good night (7772) Bad night (1344)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day http://tfl.nu/t2zq
  Replies (10) Good night (3452) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does. http://tfl.nu/2dp5
  Replies (4) Good night (3040) Bad night (1368)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding... http://tfl.nu/s10s
  Replies (2) Good night (540) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea http://tfl.nu/i0d0
  Replies (2) Good night (243) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life. http://tfl.nu/hv3j
  Replies (3) Good night (899) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die http://tfl.nu/03yf
  Replies (1) Good night (357) Bad night (251)

Randomize