what ever happened to devon sawa?
i'm really worried about him.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
if only i could text you this smell
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.