watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?