I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
