wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize