She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The power of my boobs compel you
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize