You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
