bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
