Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
