Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
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Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
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Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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