so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
