I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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