The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
