My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
