We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
