i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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