For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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