in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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