five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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