I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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