Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
