: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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